With apologies to all of the comedians who have told this joke…
An environmentalist dies and reports at the pearly gates. St Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an environmentalist–you’re in the wrong place.” Thinking that heaven could never make an admin error or play a joke on him, the environmentalist reports to the gates of hell and is let in.
It doesn’t take very long for the environmentalist to get dissatisfied with the environment in hell, and so he starts implementing some eco-friendly improvements. After a while, global warming, air and water pollution are under control. The landscape is covered with grass and plants, the food is organic, and the people are happy. The environmentalist has become a pretty popular guy.
One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?” Satan replies, “Hey, things are going great. We’ve got clean air and water, the temperature is comfortable and the food tastes better, and there’s no telling what this environmentalist is going to fix next.”
God replies, “What??? You’ve got an environmentalist? That’s a mistake, he should never have gone down there; send him up here.” Satan says, “No way. I like having an environmentalist on the staff, and I’m keeping him.” God says, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue.”
Satan laughs and answers, “Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?”